And it goes on and on

So I start to do some of the things I want to do. Why are some of the answers so easy...and others are not.

I know what I'm running from
I remember once more..(as if I really ever forgot) what makes me..tick...what makes me the way I am when things go well..when I feel like I'm on top of the world

How much longer do you feel the self inflicted pain of frustration by not doing whatever it is that you want to (lose weight..or in my case tone yourself up....stop thinking about negativity....or in my case...stop thinking about negativity over and over and over and over again)

Things hurt. A lot. Tell me..which is truly better? To freeze up and go cold...not let anything bother you inside so that you never feel this way again...or to become love....to open yourself up so much that you embrace everything that you choose and sometimes don't choose to come into your life?

I think the darkness is safety. I think the light is harder. I know that I feel a lot of pain and frustration right now.