The Dark Space

So recently..I was speaking with someone, and asked why they hadn't posted anything recently...as I enjoy reading their work (as I so love reading my own)...and their answer was.."I don't want to depress the 2 readers I have LOL".......which brought me to an interesting thought. I love positivity, believe in it..and gravitate towards it. I know that we attempt to avoid negativity at all costs, not because we are afraid of it...but because we feel that it will suck you in..and there is no need to further indulge negative thoughts, when we have enough negativity surrounding us, and our job is to be the light in the dark..the positive force in a world that has so much negativity to offer.

I do believe though...that sometimes we have to acknowledge our dark place......so that we can see where we came from...so that we can face...head on......those issues that we resolve.....those challenges that we conquer............I know that I rarely explore my dark place these days...but this...is just a little of my dark place.

It's cold, and I can't stand the cold. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea where my destination is...and how I'm supposed to get there. I feel like I want to just curl up into a ball and weep...over my wrong choices.....trying to silence the voices.....I have memories which creep up on me at the most interesting times........it's almost like I'm trying to run so they can't find.....me.

I remember the tears suffered at the hands of my words. The pain endured because of my deeds which are still unheard of....to most. I start, then stop, then start, then stop..then start again. I ask myself...will you EVER get it together? Will you EVER become...what it is you think you should be? With all the reading...all the knowledge you have.......how do you still wind up retreating..to that dark space? And wow....the dark space is dark....maybe another day I'll start...to acknowledge the dark space :)....