How we measure ourselves..

How do we measure ourselves? I mean honestly. How much of our self worth is a reflection of someone else's words? Someone else's actions. A wife feels validated when her husband protects her. A husband feels affirmed when his wife satiates one of his cravings. How much of our true feelings of happiness our measured in the eyes arms and mouths of another person. What happens if that person is removed from your life? Do you turn to ice? Do you suffer in silence? What is the key to becoming self-affirmed? I really don't know...