Today is...what?

I experience dissapointment in so many different ways. And yet it seems like I can only experience joy in one specific venue. Sex of course...and we all know how rare that is. Why do I do this to myself? How does someone go from being completely spoiled...having the world basically laid at their feet.....to a complete dry season?
I already know. I seek joy in other mediums. Is it a great book to read? Is it the interaction with my son and my wife? Is it merely the opportunity to speak with a friend? I don't know...but I want to find...more.

I bought 2 blank journal books today, and hope to fill them with poetry. I also plan on reading The Purpose Driven Life....a book my ex girlfriend swears will change my life. That's what I need right now. I feel soooo stressed. I have no clue why. I mean, there is enough money in my bank account to pay my bills, the mortgage is paid, we are working on having 6 months in the bank as well, my son is healthy, my bills are all up to date, I only owe approximately 6K in credit card debt (at most)..and trying to completely erase that.

Why am I stressed? Why do I seek happiness as if it's elusive? Ahhh..I've been asking myself these questions for years..at times when I keep a journal I see it. So let's just close with a small poem.

She
Is inside of me
I can't get her....
Out
I miss you