Just thoughts

When you look forward...
To hearing her voice
The thought of you...
Makes her moist
You wonder about curiousity
And what the future holds
You wonder what is real and what is illusion
And wait for life to unfold
But sometimes the moments we forget to enjoy
Are the very experiences which would never destroy
Our ability to remember
A place, space and time
And right now I wonder
What is
And isn't
Mine

OK, I still want to post, I feel like I'm going crazy..and I just want to get things OUT OF MY SYSTEM. I don't know how. I don't know what to say. My reading has been increasing my level of self awareness....but I still don't know what to do. Why do I feel this way? The NERVE of me to be depressed........and for what? I feel like I have been ripped apart.....like I am dwelling too much on the past I can't do anything about...without acknowledging how bright the future is. I want to scream, I want to shout at the top of my lungs..
"I am God's child....I belong here"
But in one of my poems....I said....that is a lie. But is it? Create my own reality. Enjoy life...enjoy the ride..it can be sooooooo good. I'm saying nothing and everything in this post...but I will end it this way:

Remember when your power
Existed in your mind
Remember when your insecurity
Was so hard to find
And now it pins itself
To the outside of your shirt
And you feel like you've been broken more than 10 times over
And that bitter taste of dirt
Is sweet compared to the bile of denial
That you have swallowed for so long
What will present itself in your life?
What will finally make you strong.....
Just live
Live
Again.