The need for attention

I still don't understand this need for attention. Why do I feel compelled to have someone pay attention to me? Acknolwedge me? How can I eliminate this pattern? In the Landmark Forum Landmark Education: Sharing The Landmark Forum they call this the "looking good". I think it bothers me today because even my blog...am I writing this to just release my own feelings and be able to look back upon them and see if I have improved...or notice things that I can do to change myself in order to live a more powerful life? Or........am I doing it because I want other people to READ me.....know me?
Yes, I want to hear "That's an attractive man" or "Wow...he's smart. A nice guy..a great guy...a giving man". All of those things. Don't most of us, if we tell the truth? (I was going to say the honest truth...but that's opposed to the dishonest truth?) And isn't that what leads us to giving power over to other people? Depending on what they say, and what they do or how they react to us in order to feel happy? And when they don't.....that's where the pain comes in? How do I let this go? Well...I guess I'll figure it out one day...

Story 1 continued

So after she cums on the bathroom floor, and people are knocking on the door like crazy trying to get in, we leave the bathroom, both intoxicated between the alchohol and this experience, we actually are thinking no one in the house knows we were together. We sit on the bottom of the steps, talking and laughing, and she whispers in my ear "I want to get out of here....where do you stay?". As luck would have it, the dorm I was staying in had not been finished yet, and I was staying in the door where the visiting sports players would stay. Now the interesting thing about these rooms is that they have no windows, and the only lighting there is the light from the ceiling. We figured that to fool all the other people on the steps we would talk for about another 20 minutes, then we went to my dorm.

The whole walk over, she was leaning on me, her ankle was swelling up, but she insisted she was fine, and frankly......I just wanted some :). We got to my room, and immediately our tongues were down each other's mouths, our embrace growing tighter as we pressed against each other, breathing levels rising rapidly. We climbed up on the top bed of the bunk bed and I felt every inch of her five foot eight frame trembling. My fingers travelled down between her thighs, her pink panties were dripping with her excitement, as I tested her again with my middle finger, and her moan was music to my ears. As I pulled it out and pushed my finger all the way in my mouth, and as it exited my mouth, I stuck my tongue all the way out licking my finger. She was grabbing my waist, undoing my belt while her hand was running outside of my pants, my response to her touch was straining against the fabric of my pants. She unzipped my pants with a sense of urgency....a condom already in my other hand that I gave to her was slipped on with ease. I slid up inside of her and it felt like.....heaven. We started responding to each other's movements, reading each other's minds as we went from her being on the bottom, her tongue flicking around my inner ear, to flipping over with her riding me her screams bouncing off the walls of the empty dorm. I felt her dripping through the condom, her orgasms seemed to come in waves over and over again, her nails digging into my skin without breaking it. Her muscle control was amazing, every time I was almost at my peak, she closed down on my base, and whispered in my ear "Not yet, not yet, it's not time"....and gyrated her hips so that my excitement was maintained, but her inner muscles were in control. Finally after being drenched in sweat from head to toe, I released with a passion I had never known in the twenty years of my life.
It was the beginning of my junior year of college.