Dreams

I had 2 dreams last night which I can remember....both of which might be significant.

The first dream, I was working out with an instructor...well, there was someone I know who I was with. It was a male, but I don't know who it was, I just know from our interaction, it was someone I actually know. I completed 60 pushups (why is there this push up theme in my dreams)..and was very proud of myself...since I can't do pushups like that yet LOL :).....

The second....and...more haunting.....I was messing around with a married woman. I was in her house....I don't remember actually having sex in my dream, all I know is that I was in her bedroom and she went to take a shower (thus, the logical, I must have had sex with her). She goes to the shower, I am waiting in the bedroom, and her husband comes home with their two children. (A daughter and son). I have no idea where to go, I don't know the layout of the house, the door is somewhat closed....and the bedroom door was white with those slats, so you can actually see who is in the hallway through the slats. Her son and daughter (who are young...let's say around.....8 and 9 or so.....go past the room into the bathroom to talk to her...I think they might have seen me. I don't know what to do, so I go into the closet. THe problem is my sneakers are out in the bedroom. Her husband goes into the bathroom......winds up coming back to the bedroom, I am soooooo pissed at her, that she did not make sure he didn't come into their bedroom and just lead them downstairs or something to give me time to either get out of there, or find a good hiding space. He actually comes right to the door of the closet where I am hiding, opens up the door...and as I am thinking about whether I should just push him out of the way and make a run for it......or stay in the closet because he might not have seen me...I woke up. Which led me to a whole train of thoughts. Is it possible that I could mess around with a married woman who would rather make it seem like I was robbing their house and they didn't know me..... versus taking the weight of having been with me. This is why it's best to stay out of sticky situations.

July 4th

It's July 4th, 2006. Do I feel like I have reached a greater understanding of myself? Definitely.
Do I feel like I have made progress in certain areas of my life? Definitely.
I have so far to go, so many things I want to do......but only time will tell. For me, it's basically the beginning of summer. And summer is my season LOL :)....yes it is :). I look forward to what these next two months will bring.....I look forward to rediscovering my passion.....delving...deeper into myself. Maybe I'll just feed off my ego for a little while (Lord knows it's big enough).......but still maintaining my perspective about reality.

I really think this is one of those times and areas of my life...where I better just enjoy life as it's happening...because it doesn't get much better than this. Well, it does and it doesn't. It gets better in terms of achievements.....but things are great right now..and I can make them stay that way.

I saw my ex recently. It was the first time in over 4 years...and wow. My wife doesn't understand why I maintain a friendship with her..she feels that I'm not letting go of my past. Nothing could be farther than the truth. The friendship that we share is sooooo much not what it was in the past..it is so not physical...not....a temptation issue..it's just great to have a friend who can know you for who you REALLY are..not who you pretend to be..and accept you for who you REALLY are. (And for some of us, who we really are...is scary LOL :)......we talk about my marriage, which she has given me incredibly valuable advice about.........about work...(she has walked me through my last two trials).....anyway, it was really good to see her...and I always wish her the best (she doesn't have a boyfriend.....well, that's a whole other story).

Last weekend the wife and I were in DC, and walked along the Wall...and climbed the steps of the Lincoln Memorial...it was.....nice.

I'm going to close out here......I have more entries in my head..but for a later time.