A post to Linkin Park

Well, let's see. I think I did one post while I was listening to music..and that was a poem somewhere on this blog. One of my favorite songs (among so many) is "Place for my Head" by Linkin Park..and of course with my new Bose headphones, I am very much sealed off from the rest of my house....so I have this blasting in my head...and who knows what will come out?

Why do I blog? Do I secretly desire for others to go through my blog and glimpse into my life...or do I truly do it to look back and see if I have improved or changed anything? Or do I just want to look at a log in my life.

I want sooooo bad to chronicle some of my emotional life.....but well......that I would never want all over the net LOL :).........("YOU try to take the best of me....go away..."YOU try to take the best of me....go away...I want to be in another place, I hate when you say you don't...understand...I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy...a place for my head")

I wonder why I feel in extremes. I mean, I think most people FEEL....but I don't know if they FEEL like I feel.... I mean to experience pain in it's most intense form.......and to experience pleasure....and wonders unknown. Why have I lived my life the way I have lived it...to come in contact to FEEL some of the people the way I have felt them...and to TOUCH people....and to use that for good..not evil.

I wonder what happens to all the aggression I have inside of me at this time? What will I do with all the venom that is stored.....do you know that for approximately two and a half years...I have been miserable? What happens to that part of me? What happens when I say that I am love.....and love conquers all? Can I truly leave my past in the past? Do I have the echoes of revenge reverberation somewhere in my subconscious....when I say "I am karma"? I really don't know....I just wait to see what happens. Maybe I should chronicle my goals...and see what I do and don't accomplish? Am I afraid to face the reality of the things that I just don't complete....and just choose to remember what I have achieved?

For now....I have to write something....a letter...something that will release everything that has been inside of me for soooo long.....and then come back and blog again :)