Just more random thoughts

So my friend says she wants to participate in this national writing contest where you are supposed to write 50,000 words between Nov 1 and Nov 30. Why on earth did I agree to this? And why do I even doubt myself? I have no idea what I will be writing about, and whether or not I will even finish it, which hits on my BIGGEST sore spot about people. You can do whatever you want, don't ever doubt yourself. And yet I do.
In some ways I look forward to this challenge, but I have to challenge myself to some other things as well, namely getting my business order. And why on earth have I not tried to publish a book of poetry? A question that has been haunting me for quite some time.
Well, I don't have much to say.....

If I remain
Revolving around her heart
Will the day ever come
When I finally begin to start
Standing up on my own
Realizing that happiness is truly about being grown
In outlook
And taking control of your future
But for now..my poetic name....at one time was just an echo of her