It's been a while...

For some odd reason, I have thought of soooo many posts that I just never...completed. There is a peice that I know I have in the back of my mind....another pain peice..and it has been sooooooo long since I completed something new.
I have to agree with the saying that feeling pain can be a good thing..it keeps you...alive. But.....WHY does it have to be like that? I feel like after the pain...comes my backwards ass pleasure of releasing it....one someone..or in some situation. And I have been feeling pain....for no reason. Seriously. For no reason. Where does this frustration come from? Why do I feel the need to turn...cold again? Why do I equate a feeling of power when I feel that ice..when there is no real reaction to anything someone else can do or say to me? I want to be my favorite phrase.....I ....AM.......LOVE. Sometimes I question..what will I do next? What comes next? There are so many things happening as we speak....and for some reason....I don't want to turn to some of the PEOPLE in my life right now.......and yet....I think I always feed of that interaction. The people in my life make me feel good....positive...offer advice and guidance...and inspiration......which propels me...pushes me to be better.
I still have poetry in my head...I want to see what comes out.....but I'm scared to see...what would come out.