Acting out

I feel a lot of pain.
I know exactly why..and the only question is what do you do about it?
I have what a lot of people think they want....but what good does it do if you're not happy? If I continue to frustrate myself professionally and personally.
Happiness is where you find it. I didn't understand this statement for a long time. There is an added bonus to this though. You have to TRAIN your mind to realize that happiness is wherever YOU are. We create our realities. Period. There is no denying this truth. If you feel that your surroundings should make you miserable, you will be miserable. That is under any circumstance. We are not trained to find peace...to find happiness....to just BE.
Right now......I have to work on training my mind...in small things....to find this elusive "happiness". Is it in my poetry? Should it be in my working out? (Yes...I have reached the whopping 190 lbs......but yet they don't seem to be in my biceps...or maybe a nice muscular chest...the chicken chest is till in effect LOL :)....Should it be in setting very small goals every day? And every time I accomplish that goal, I have reached a point of happiness for me? I have no idea. But I must do something, because this is unacceptable. I am still GIL.....NO RIB. (The legend in my own mind).
Why do I think it terms of warm and cold? When I do whatever I feel like doing without remorse..that is cold....when I make other people happy...smile...that is warm. I feel power in cold. I feel power in warm. RIght now I feel powerless because I am not living up to my word...but that's only my word to ME. No one else. In training they talk about the "looking good". We are so obsessed with what other people think about us..what their reaction is going to be.....I have to find happiness within me. Maybe in another post I will go into the boring little details of what is going on in my life right now..my career......but at this moment....I am concerned with....
Happiness