Where is the ledge?

Where is the line between what you can do..and what you are designed to do.......and your weakness that can just infect your mind and convince you that you are not meant to travel a path you feel you were meant for.

I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamed that I was with someone I used to know.....a woman I used to be intimate with....and my insecurities flooded me. To the point that I felt I needed to get rid of her because I couldn't TRUST her.......but for some reason I couldn't do it. (by the way, this paragraph has nothing to do with the first...I'm just rambling).

When does my mind perceive and process...reality...and when does my mind just twist it's perceptions to place me in the world that is my own creation? I really don't know.

I do know there was a time when I felt like I did whatever I wanted.....because I could. I am different. I mean...we all are different...but I felt like I'm just...different that most. I do what I want and I do what I feel because I only live life once.....only pass this way once...and as they say...(and by the way, who is "they"?)....there is no dress rehearsal here. And I have LIVED. I mean...I have tasted the sweet and the bitter that life has to offer.....and in some twisted ways....loved both.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not....living. I mean up to my full potential. I'm not.......feeling the rush that's out there...savoring every moment that comes my way. Some days I do...some day's I don't. And sometimes I feel like maybe I should just get back on that "No Rib shit"....(ahhhh...to comment about that another time.

For now, I just want to know where the ledge is...and am I standing on it....am I anywhere near it?